Flirty at Ten-thirty tonight

Well, I was casually flipping through some Chemistry notes just 2 hours ago, with my earphones jammed up my ass to the radio channel Fly FM. For those who dont normally listen to the radio regularly, the Fly Fm's Night Flight show is hosted by Bazzle and Jules (Jue, jangan perasan..) which, I think is a boy and a girl respectively of course! Now, every night at the said time (10.30) they act as mediums for one lucky guy or girl, and for a single night, they momentarily assume the roles of his balls, which he or occasionally a her, doesnt seem to have to talk their significant others into a date, groupsex, orgy or whatever. So it kinda helps.

Most of the time, relationships turn out well as the guy/girl on the opposite side seems to like their balless radio-hogging chickenedout partners (or are just too embarassed to say NO WAY! YOU FUCKING PERVERT! on national radio)

Well, tonight was different, lemme put it in a dialogue for you:

B&J: It seems that you say you have been together with this girl for what, 4 months or so? If that is so, then why do you need our help in hooking you guys up? Arent you 2 together already?

James: Yes, its true. But I wanna take things to another level, take it one more step up. I wanna ask her to marry me. Ive met her parents before and they seem like nice people. I want to be in an intimate relationship with her.

B&J: OOH, so you want more than a date la. Nak kahwin rupa-rupanya! So she likes you back already, I think this is gonna be a happy ending. So want do you want us to say to her? Propose for you izit?

James: Nonono, I plan to ask her after college. I just need you guys to help me find out whether she has the same feelings for me at the same level as mine. I wanna know whether she is willing to be in a steady and faithful realtionship with me. Plus I want our realtionship to be closer and more intimate. I need to know whether she is ready to take the next step into our future, together.

B&J: WOO! Why so fast wanna marry? Kahwin cepat, you guys start young can get anak berbanyak-banyak izit? Hehe!So romantic wan...

James: Haha! Yeah, something like that.

B&J: Ok, just wait. We will contact her now, please hold on.

Chick: Yes, hello?

B&J: Hello, (insert chick's name if you know) this is Bazzle and Jules from Fly Fm's Night Flight and you are on Flirty at Ten-Thirty. First of all, what have you got to say? Do you know who's setting you up for a date?

Chick: Uuh, no.. Who is it?

B&J: Try to guess la. He says you two have been together for the past 4 months and his parents have met your parents before, he says they are nice people. You two have been dating and he wants to take it up another level, he wants to know whether you are ready to take the next step into your relationship with him. Do you know who he is already?

Chick: Uh, no. Is it Bryan?

B&J: HUH? No laa.. Try again, think harder this time.

Chick: Is it Ruben? haha.

B&J: Walao, you got so many guys that want to be intimate with you ah? Why you so sexy wan? You sure you have no idea who is it?

Chick: Im a very friendly person, so Yeah, please tell me.

B&J: Ok, ok. We'll give you a clue. 007.

Chick: 007? Is it James?

B&J: Hey! bravo! you guessed right!

Chick: What the fuck? What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?!

B&J: Hey hey, dont so many bad words on national radio la.. Why? Whats wrong?

Chick: Fuck that fucking asshole pervert! Im gonna fucking kill him!

B&J: I...I thought you were in a relationship together with him? Whats happening la?

Chick: Oowh, that motherfucker! James is in the same course with me and we only meet up to discuss assignments. Up until now I dont even regard him as a friend, more like aquaintances but now, I think he is a fucking pervert! Ive never dated him! Ive never liked him and ive never said so much as a sentence to him in my life! I fucking hate him! Who the hell does he think he is, to call me up on radio when i dont know who the heck he is?

James: Hey, what you talking now hah? Last time you were so close to me, want to kiss me and now embarass me in front of the whole country? Whats wrong with you?

Chick: Get away from me, you fucking stalker! I dont even know you very well. If I receive one more phone call from you, im calling the police! Just stay away!

James: Why you calling me a fucking stalker? Im not a fucking stalker! Wah, last Valentines' Day, you gave me a rose and said you wanted to kiss me! Now this? Why dont you want to be with me?

B&J: Err, guys.... Please la... Urm.....

Chick: WHAT? Since when did I give you a fucking rose? Wh- Shit man, you think you can call me on national radio so I will say yes, izit? Lemme tell this? I dont care! I dont give a damn if i fucking embarass you in front of the whole world! I fucking hate you, James! Dont you dare expect a yes from me! Ill never change my mind!

James: Hey, last time you called me Jamie, why now you call me differently? WHY? I thought you loved me! We are in a relationship, and dont you deny that! And why you call me James again? Dont lie la! We were dating, we were together before this! Why dont you call me Jamie? Bitch!

Chick: Since when did I ever call you Jamie? You're nuts! you crazy psycho lunatic! Get away from me! Im gonna ask my dad to transfer me outta the damn college to another one! And dont you dare come near me ever again! Fucking stalker!

James: Stop calling me names! AARGH! Im not listening to this bullshit anymore!

Chick: *Continues bitching at lightspeed*

James: Blahblahblahblahblahblehblehblehbleybleybleybleyblobloboblobloblolbolbblobbbooo!

Chick: *Bitches some more*

James: Nanananenenenononononononenenenenenanananananneneoenenenananoenenaoeoen!

Chick: *Her bitching pitch breaks the sound barrier*

James: I cant hear you!I cant hear you!I cant hear you!I cant hear you!I cant hear you! Gaah!

Chick: *Her rate of cursing beats lightspeed, penetrates thorough the Earth's atmosphere and bounces off the sun, causing it to overboil with her fiery fury*

James: I cant take this no more! Im hanging up! IM HANGING UP! HEY! IM HANGING UP!

Chick: *Her solar-fueled bitchings are reflected back to Earth and hits James in the crotch, sizzling his Budweiser immediately*

James actually hangs up. *Beep!*

Chick stops bitching for a while, breathless.

B&J: Wow. What was that? Dude, did you know that He was planning to propose to you soon?

Chick: WHAT THE FUCK? Thank god he didint! If he did, id kill him! That lousy pervert! I hate him! I absolutely fucking hate him!

B&J: Well, (insert chick's name here) thank you for participating in this session, and we are sososososososososo sorry for upsetting you like that. Very very sorry, ah? Bai BAi!

Chick: Hmph! well at least i got to clarify one thing straight. Thanks you guys... *Click*

5105674601947061098700917498670127798198586197760294012501690109 years later.......

B&G: Phew! What was that? yeah, what just happened? That was crazy, man! We rarely get scary cases like that very often. Man, I so thought it was gonna be a happy ending. They seemed so close together.... So if any of our listeners want a chance to express their feelings to their loved ones, please check up our website at www.flyfm.com.my to find out more details, or if you want to bantai a person like what just happened just now, also can! hahahahahahahahaa!

PS: all the blahblahnenenonoblebles said by James were real, yknow. Yup, thats right. He was literally speaking gibberish on national radio, like a 5 year old kid with pervert instincts.